For Moms Who Get Winter Blues, You’re Not Ungrateful or Lazy!

For Moms Who Get Winter Blues, you’re not ungrateful, lazy, or boring. You have a medical condition. 

Heard of seasonal depression? Well its real and can affect anyone. One of those people suffering from winter blues is me. A full-time mom with four amazing children and a husband with a good job, and a great house. I live in a town with tons of things to do and tons of friends to hang out with. So why would someone like me be down just because its winter? I have a medical condition called seasonal depression. Somedays winter blues kick my trash, other days I kick its trash, but most days we live in mutual resignation together with the faith that winter will end come spring. 

Seven Things That Actually Help Winter Blues

Be Kind To Yourself

When you are down and you have an amazing life with so much to be grateful for its easy to be mean to yourself. But you cannot hate yourself to healthy. It’s not possible. If you have ever tried to rally yourself by telling yourself you are a bad person and need to get it together because you are failing your family… it probably didn’t work, did it? Because you are doing the exact opposite of what your mind and body needs. You need to forgive yourself. You need to love yourself. You need to love yourself enough to forgive yourself and allow yourself to be human. You are not a robot, so forgive yourself for not being a robot. You have complex feelings, and you have them for a reason. Feelings are there to serve you so stop pretending they are not there. Use your feelings. Lean into your feelings. Remember, you still have value even when you are sad. You are important even when you are down. You matter just as much as anyone else in your family or anyone else on this earth. Teach your kids kindness by being kind to them and being kind to yourself. We may not be able to make ourselves be happy but we are able to make ourselves be kind. 

Stop Trying To Be Happy

We need to stop trying to be happy all the freaking time. It’s not possible. We are not built to be happy all the time, that’s called Mania and there is a serious downhill side to people who seek that kind of high all the time. But what we can be all the time is fulfilled and to have meaning. Some time in our history we were told to be Happy, seek happiness in all we do, just be happy. Yikes! What terrible advice. No one can live in a constant state of happiness and fun. If you seek constant happiness you will find loads of constant disappointments. Happiness is a bonus feeling, it is not what life is all about. That’s why there are so many different feelings. We are not meant to only experience one. Don’t ever tell yourself this destructive line “I just want to be happy.” How about replacing that line with “How can I create fulfillment in my life today?” “How can I find meaning in this moment?” “What kinds of things can I focus my time on that will bring me lasting fulfillment?” “How can I create a day today that matters?” This is where joy and peace is created. Joy is a type of calm with purpose. Stop trying to have a happy day, and try to make a day that matters. 

Stop Trying Your Best

Be good enough. Good enough is an awesome place to be. If you find yourself exhausted and overwhelmed try just being good enough for a while. Just put out B+ work. B+ work is still good and worth your time and will give you time for other important meaningful things you would like to do. A B+ mom is an awesome mom that is more patient with her kids, more available, more flexible, and healthier. Stop trying to give everything your everything. You cannot have it all, all at the same time. You are not a robot. Find places in your life where you can cut back. Try saying no to extra stuff that will take you away from the things you want to spend more of your time doing. Save your A+ work for the things and people you are most passionate about and the things that are going to create the life you want. Or just always give B+ work. That’s totally fine to. 

Give Yourself A Day Off

Do you ever have a day of the week that is harder than the rest? Mine is Mondays. Mondays are always hard even though I’m a stay at home mom and I don’t have a boss (besides my toddler) Mondays have a way to really get me down. So, I have been trying to make my Mondays my fun day. I do things that I really love and that my little ones’ love to. I put off the hard adulting stuff for Tuesday and the rest of the week. I take a workout class, practice mindfulness, play Candyland and bake cookies on Monday. I do the things I love to do as a mom on Mondays and I do nothing else. It’s a great way to set a positive tone for the rest of the week. A day off is not a day wallowing in bed and letting your babies fend for themselves a day off is a day off from the things that bog you down and celebrate the things you love about your life. Every mom has something about motherhood that they love, activities that they love doing with their kids. We each have a mommy superpower. I suggest we put aside one day a week where we only do those mommy things that we love and that we are good at. It’s a huge boost.

Here is a link to check out this Mindfulness coarse for the workplace and how you can implement it into your leadership rolls: https://optimisticbrain.com/mindfulness-and-hr-professionals/

Make Plans

Give yourself something to look forward to. Being stuck inside because of the snowy weather can get any person down in the dumps. One way to brighten up your day is to spend time making plans for an upcoming vacation. Spending time planning your next family vacation will give you a big boost and gives you something awesome to look forward to. Plan a girl’s night out, plan out your summer 5k family runs that you want to take. Plan your family garden. Sign up for a class that you’ve always wanted to take. (BrightMindsOnlineSchool.ca) Fill up your calendar with adventures and goals. Humans need goals and purpose in order to thrive.

Done Is Fun

Some days you need a down day, but most days you need to act. Don’t just sit around stressing about things, make a plan of action where you write down each tiny step out and then get to work checking each little step off. Remember Done Is Fun! What really helps me is to not  look at the big picture, because I will get very overwhelmed if I do. When we break up a big task into tiny doable action that’s when we will make real progress. A busy day filled with meaning, service and fulfilling actions can be very motivating and satisfying. Winter can be a great time to get some of these bigger projects done. So, stop wasting your time dwelling on the thing you need done and get doing it already. 

Do you have an amazing service project or fundraiser idea and would love to get help in making it happen? GlobalFacesDirect.com fundraising services can help. 

Fill Your Life With Goodness

After you have taken time to be kind to yourself try filling your day with goodness. Watch a Comedy, listen to music that makes your feel good, listen to encouraging podcast, eat quality foods. Cut out sugar, get a good night’s sleep, visit a friend. Dress up just for yourself. Visit that museum you have always wanted to. Plan and fill your day with as much goodness as you can cram into a day. Surround yourself with positive things and people, it’s bound to rub off on you. 

Get Moving

Even though you have heard it a million times, I’m going to say it again. Get moving. Exercise everyday. Dance it out in the kitchen. Walk laps at your mall. I don’t care who is looking. Make exercising your go-to feel good activity and try to start your day off with it. I’m new to running but I have found that running at the start of my day (even in winter) helps me to handle my emotions more through the day. Make sure when you are working out that you tell yourself positive things while you are working out, and remind yourself of things you are grateful for, like a body that can move and heal, and carry you to where you need to go. Love yourself enough to move yourself. If a workout feels overwhelming try telling yourself you are just going to start the workout and at any time if it’s too much just stop and finish up with a light walk. Just get started. Don’t be afraid to take a little walk out in the snow, that’s what coats are for. Getting outdoors isn’t just for summer time. 

Tell A Friend

If you’re still having major depression it can be a huge relief to tell someone like a friend, spouse or your health care provider. Getting the moody blues may be a lack of vitamins and nutrients or something else your doctor can help you with. Also expressing how you feel can be very therapeutic and can be a huge relief to those suffering from winter depression. Make plans to get together with your spouse, kids or friends to spend more time together, socialize and get out of the house together. Or take advantage of the warm weather and plan a game night in with some neighbors or friends where you are socializing and reconnecting. Humans are social creatures after all. 

Winter can be a wonderful magical time of the year if we are more aware of our needs and don’t ignore what your feelings are trying to tell you. You may need to make major adjustments to your schedule and diet to acclimate to the shorter days. No one is the same and its going to take work, exploration and getting out of your comfort zone to find out what works for you. Be willing to lean into the change of the weather and the change you are needing to make yourself.